Day 5 FMT Self Discovery

Day 5

Today was an interesting and self discovering day in so many different ways...

Well before FMT my roomates and I had a bit of a talent show with the other patient giving his Irish jig (hes originally from Ireland) and then me with my Hula hoop ;) It was really fun I was actually able to let go in front of them (a bit) which I have never been able to do before yea!

So  about an hour after FMT today, I went bike riding with my roomates to New Seasons Market to check it out and also so that I could get some more face wash and coconut milk. I didn't think I wasn't going to be able to since I kept feeling I needed to use the bathroom after FMT but what was great is that riding the bike actually helped relieve the urge; awesomeness! ;)

So on the ride back the bag's handle ripped...but as if the universe knew this would happen; there was a piece of rope on the ground directly in front of me that I used to wrap the bag of grocery's on the back of my bike! Thank you Universe!

When I got back for Acupuncture I had a re-self discovery moment in which I asked about my scar on my head and what significance it could have on my meridians since I remember her talking about how scars can really have an effect on the body. Well whats fascinating about it is that it lies on the portion of what is considered the blueprint of my true self or another way of saying it is who I am suppose to be down to the core.

 Well after she had stuck me with needles and left to go speak with someone I was thinking about my life overall and how yes having IBD of course has an influence on my life but I feel that I have done a good amount in my life and maybe even more than most people who didn't grow up with a chronic disease. So in a way, I feel that I would have done the same amount of things in my life or even less if I didn't have this disease since with this disease has made me want to push my boundaries. With this thought if I had a normal functioning body all these years I might have taken it for granted and not had done as much or might have even abused it like I have seen so many people do: alcohol, drugs, etc... 

So in a way growing up with this disease could be seen as a blessing since it has helped push myself to live life and seek out my limits; so far my limits are much greater than I could have ever imagined... :D

What does this all mean then? I gained the perspective that this scar symbolizes that no matter how much I dont want the scar to be a part of me as an individual it is a part of who I am; if I like it or not (this scar is the starting point of when I developed IBD from the antibiotic treatment I received at 4 yrs old).

 This past year I had developed some pretty strong negative feelings towards my scar and IBD which I have never had before and just recently I realized it was coming from my mother who would automatically think I couldn't do this or that because of my IBD... I just hate how she would pretty much use it an excuse or even a crutch in a way for me not to do things..(I didn't listen most of the time but after a while of hearing it so often it eventually gets in your head..) I feel that I could have been much more productive this past year without her saying that I can't do this or that...(and happier). Being here at the FMT retreat has really helped me re-gain perspective on my life again and that I just need to take one step at a time to reach my goals.

After acupuncture I went to a Vinyasa yoga class and following it a Tea Ceremony and Meditation class at Sun Gate Studio (they have a special in which you can pay $20 for a week of unlimited yoga! or its $12/class I have one week left so I picked the $20 deal its perfect!) It was an amazing experience... I'm not the greatest at yoga but I gained from it is that I need to the possibilities within myself more since at first I didn't want to do the headstand since it has been so long since I have done one but after just trying it I was able to do it pretty easily...which in my mind I thought I wouldn't so it was a nice surprise .the same thing with the backbend bridge but the instructor told me I think you can do it you are pretty flexible (that right there was nicest never in this life thought I would hear compliment) and she was right! I felt that I was actually able to do it better than I did in the past when I was in gymnastics...I think it might be from the craniosacral that has helped with this now that I think about it....

After the yoga, was the Tea and Meditation Ceremony, during the tea ceremony I felt my heart open up and then with the addition of the next tea the rest of my body opened up which was perfect before going into meditation. Being in meditation it helped bring awareness to myself.. and how essentially I am individual who in the end makes my own decisions...to go deeper into this thought; I thought about the saying, "Dont act like you are the center of the universe" but if you think about it each individual could potentially be the center of the universe even if it was for a split second since everyone plays a part of the universe its just up to you how much of an impact you want to put on to the universe for you to become the center.

http://www.gutinstinctnutrition.net/